12 CEOs We Hope Get Coronavirus
A list of the most vile CEOs in the country who treat their employees like dirt
With reports of new infections, we wondered why this virus couldn’t affect the just bad people in the world. So, to be of service to the greater good of all in our human society, we decided to list the 12 CEOs who we wish would come down with the Coronavirus.
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos: The richest man in the world and owner of Amazon has built one of the largest companies in the world. While he makes millions a day, his workers struggle, many making just above the minimum wage. Workers have even died in his warehouses from heat exhaustion. Bezos has also blocked unions from organizing their workers.
Walmart CEO Doug McMillion: The CEO of the world’s largest retailer, Walmart, McMillion and the company have spent millions to keep unions like the UFCW out of their stores. At the same time, they pay their workers minimum wage, and many rely on the taxpayer and encourage their employees to go on welfare. The evil irony: millions of McMillion’s employees use public assistance to buy groceries at Walmart.
Comcast CEO Brian Roberts: Comcast is one of the largest telecom providers in the country providing service to 40 states and the District of Columbia. Comcast has consistently been one of the most anti-union company’s in the country. "It is the Walmart of the cable and telecommunications industry," says Downers Grove, Illinois, Local 21 Business Manager Ronald Kastner. "There isn't much they won't do to keep unions out."
Spectrum CEO Thomas Rutledge: Spectrum, which was formerly Time Warner before a merger with Bright House Networks, is currently the subject of the longest active strikes in the country. The company has refused to negotiate with their striking workers from Local 3 IBEW, instead hiring scabs to replace them. The strike is going on three years now with no end in sight.
Target CEO Brian Cornell: While Target tries to portray themselves as better than Walmart, the truth is that they use many of the same business practices. Workers are paid at or just above minimum wage and the company spends millions to bring in union busters to keep unions like UFCW and RWDSU out. Ever meet a happy Target employee?
Barstool CEO Dave Portnoy: The chief stool, recently got a slap on the wrist for a series of tweets and videos in which he threatened staff members who wanted to organize. Portnoy told the staff that he would crush any union effort and even set up a fake twitter handle to entrap employees who wanted a voice at work.
Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy: Like all fast food companies, Chick Fil A doesn’t have a reputation for high wages or good benefits. However, unlike McDonald’s or Wendy’s, Chick Fil A has positioned itself as the darlings of the Conservative right. The extremely religious company closes on Sundays and Cathy has been outspoken about his opposition to the LGBT community including opposing same-sex marriage. The company still donates to anti-LGBT groups and has faced boycotts from customers. Recently, San Antonio and Buffalo have blocked new restaurants from opening due to their anti-LGBT stances.
Hobby Lobby CEO David Green: The craft company sued in 2013 to overturn the Affordable Care Act. While they were not successful in getting it fully overturned, they did win a religious exemption. This allows companies to not pay for certain services, like birth control, if they believe that it would violate their religious freedom. Hobby Lobby has also been accused of telling customers that they don’t stock items for the Jewish holiday because they are a Christian company and they have been caught smuggling stolen artifacts into the country.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk: The pot-smoking CEO of Tesla has been brought up on NLRB charges for firing an employee who was seeking to organize. Tesla is also the largest American car company to not have a union. While Musk is putting out his next EDM album or figuring out how to commercialize space, his workers are struggling to get by. If you drive a Tesla, chances are you are an asshole too.
Home Depot CEO Craig Menear: Home Depot is another company that has spent a lot of money to make sure that their workers don’t organize. You can even see their captive audience video here. In 2008 Menear predecessor Bernie Marcus said that “any CEO who doesn’t support Republicans opposed to the Employee Free Choice Act should be shot.” In 2018 labor reporter Hamilton Nolan compiled 500 emails from workers who described what it was like to work at Home Depot. Some employee complaints included changes to their schedule with little notice, a stressful working environment, and sexual discrimination and harassment. Home Depot sucks.
Lowe’s CEO Marvin Ellison: Like Home Depot, Lowe’s is very anti-union. They subject workers to captive audience meetings and their anti-union video has made the rounds on social media. UCOMM even had it up on our YouTube page before Lowe’s reported us and forced YouTube to take it down. Lowe’s has even banned employees from talking to each other about how much they are paid, although the National Labor Relations Board said this policy violates the National Labor Relations Act.
Donald Trump: Before he scammed his way into the White House, Trump led a real estate “empire” that routinely took advantage of workers. From not paying contractors to hiring non-union, Trump was never a true friend to labor. Since 2016 though, he has been on the warpath against unions. Supporting Right to Work, appointing the deciding judge in the Janus case that made all public workplaces open shop and weakened multiple labor standards for the building trades.
In all due seriousness, this virus is no laughing matter. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all who have lost loved ones as a result and let’s all hope the spread of this virus ends soon.